8,000 Used Condoms Clog Up Village Drains At Commonwealth Games

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Thursday, 7 October 2010


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Thousands of flushed condoms threaten to choke the Commonwealth Games village's drainage system, media reports said, in the latest problem to hit the venue from hidden snakes to outbreaks of dengue to rabid bats to gorilla or rather, monkey warfare.

Yes, monkeys were actually trained for two years before the games to keep the wild monkeys away and at least the monkeys have done their part.

The game organizers in India barely got the village ready for the games and thus far, it has shown as one plague follows another.

"At least it won't be pregnancies", stated one official. "We had 8,000 condoms that were to go to athletes for free. The first day, we gave out all of them."

However, the used condoms are now clogging up all the drains after thousands of non-biodegradable contraceptives were flushed down toilets in only the first four days of the event.

"If that is happening, and I'm standing in six inches of backed up water with a condom in my sock, it shows that there is much use of condoms and I think that is a very positive story. It shows that athletes are being responsible," Commonwealth Games Federation President Mike Fennell told a news conference on Thursday. "However, less than half of the athletes are making it to the games."

"We all know that encouraging safe sex is a very important thing to do but I think they should be showing up for the games."

Most think that all the new records being set are in the village hotel bedrooms.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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