Written by Adam Click

Thursday, 31 March 2011

image for Aliens Keep Calling Earth For Chinese Take-away
One of the most requested items: Fish Soup.

Berkeley, CA. - As if their task wasn't difficult enough, technicians associated with the SETI Project are now being constantly bombarded by messages from aliens looking for Chinese Take away.

"Our purpose is to look for intelligent life in outer space, not a bunch of cosmic couch potatoes.", Professor Alfred Fenwick of the Institute explained. "This is seriously hampering our quest because each new inquiry require it's own separate reply."

And you thought your Email box was full. The folks at the Institute are fielding more than 500 "Take Away" messages a day. Some from as far as the Abell 1835 IR1916 Galaxy, 13,230 million light-years away from Earth.

Technicians believe that the requests are the result of a Chinese Take Away menu being left on the first Voyager Space Craft as it was being prepped for launch. The restaurant in question has long since closed, but was frequently used by Engineers working in the vehicle assembly building at NASA's base in Florida at that time.

"I can't even begin to imagine what they're thinking about out there." Doctor Fenwick continued. "Do you know what Chinese Take Away would be like at the end of a journey like that? And how would we ever get it there in the first place. It boggles the mind!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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