Written by Morse

Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for Blair Hospitalized with Salmonella & Athletes Foot After Being Pelted with Eggs and Smelly Trainers!
Garda Siochana Hold Some of the Tainted Eggs Believed Used in Blair Attack!

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair was described as "out of danger" but "still shitting his pants" after a book signing in Dublin got ugly and he was pelted with salmonella tainted eggs imported from the colonies and more than a few trainers infected with Athletes Foot.

Blair, in Ireland to tout his new Romance Novel, " A Journey" was shocked and dazed when what he thought would be a "lovely" crowd turned ugly and expressed their displeasure with his past years in office.

Blair's handlers were sure the Irish Lads in attendance would welcome him with open arms after he claimed victory in the 1998 Peace Process in the former war torn country that had seen neighbors shooting ,bombing and dismembering neighbors for decades.

A spokesman for Blair later admitted that they had underestimated the memory of the Irish when reminded that it was Hillary Clinton who survived two near car bombings, a machine gun attack, and a bizarre poisoned cigar assassination attempt when she brought all parties to the table and hammered out an accord.

Demonstrators also blamed Blair for being instrumental in the UK joining the European Union with France and said that fact alone had led to the recent World Cup disappointment when a last minute goal 'handed' in by French soccer player Thierry Henry kept the accomplished Irish team from the South African Pitch.

"It was a Fooking Frog Conspiracy!" said Construction Cowboy Fergus McCarthy who took time off from his busy construction business to come to Dublin to voice his displeasure.

McCarthy also went on to Blame Blair for the failure of the Celtic Tiger, Ireland's roaring economy that took off after the Peace Accord when citizens took to entrepreneurship instead of bomb making and assassinations.

"Our internet business really took off after we invented Facebook & Twitter...we were getting billions of hits a day....I had more work then I could handle and even a nasty BASTARD like me had more FRIENDS then I could insult on line! And that wife of his ain't no prize package neither! BITCH!"

A caregiver for the hospital where Blair is recovering said the former PM is doing 'as well as expected.' She said the PM is "dehydrated, still shitting his brains (sic) out, vomiting, has a massive migraine, and is showing signs of erectile disfunction."

A spokesman for the PM said his wife Cherie has flown to his side and has joined him in bed where it is said he is curled up in a fetal position with his head on her chest while she is cooing softly whilst rubbing his ears and tickling his feet.

A full recovery is expected within 7 days for the PM, but a prognosis for the UK is more guarded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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