London - (Gonads): Cryptographers in MI5's Filthy Bastards Division have decoded another chapter in Blair's amnesia-riddled hagiography.
This reveals Blair always knew that KGB bastard and ex-UK Prime Monster Harold Wilson fathered Labour's pie-gorging thug John Prescott.
"Facial similarities and political leanings are virtually mirror image," Division chief Wilmott Dorkins said today, "right pair of 'Jeremy Hunts' the both of 'em!"
Further decryption of the book reveals Wilson's ex-S&M hooker PA Marcia Williams shagged Pope Pius XII's firstborn - George Herbert Bush - and farrowed the Princess Di lookalike who married Prince Charles.
The secret service department also hints that Blair is planning to sell the US copyright of his bollox tome to Hollywood for a reported $50 million.
"Don't expect a single penny of that going to the Royal Brtish Legion coffers, either, it's all in the small print."
Carole Caplin reckons she is well and truly off the hook over one of the most sordid and seedy scandals ever hushed up by a UK Prime Monster.
