BP CEO Searches For Solution to Gulf Leak by Examining Woman's Tonsils in Texas Bar

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for BP CEO Searches For Solution to Gulf Leak by Examining Woman's Tonsils in Texas Bar
Watching that drill going in and out... in and out... in and... oh, oh, OH OH GOD . . . Unghh.

British Profiteering (BP) has spared no expense in trying to find a way to stave the damage caused when they turned the Gulf Of Mexico into a petroleum vinaigrette, and the research goes all the way up CEO Tony Wayward.

In fact, Wayward spent a busy Saturday recently while meeting with a young, attractive woman, whom we must assume is a researcher, while his wife stayed home in England.

According to a news source which may or may not be run by a gay, pink-haired, obese Latino, CEO Wayward spent time "researching" the issue in a Champps Americana Restaurant and Bar in Texas.

"Dr. Wayward was intent in extracting as much information from the woman at the bar," said a patron who stated that he was in the bar to avoid picking up his son for visitation, because he was already 45 minutes late, and he knew that if he went to his ex-wife's Brisa's house now, she would just give him a huge ration of sh-t, and he didn't feel like listening to it from Brisa, or her new boyfriend Joshua, who they are now living with, because he and his ex-wife are selling their house to split the proceeds, and Joshua never misses an opportunity to get a little snide remark every chance he gets, like when he was unbuckling his son from the back seat of his car, and when Joshua noticed that the 'check engine' light was lit, said something like, 'Wow, I hope that isn't anything important,' and 'You know, cars as old as yours are going to nickel and dime you to death. When you're in a better position to make the move to a new car, just let me know, because the guy that sold me my Land Rover Discovery is a decent guy, and he might be able to work with you in a bad-credit situation', and it wasn't like Joshua was mean to his son or anything, but seeing Joshua and him together made him feel jealous, like he just saw his best girl at the State Fair, riding the Ferris Wheel with another guy, and he knew he had to get over it, but it was taking more time that he had hoped, and he found it odd that his ex started dating just three weeks after they broke up.

"He was very upset."

Apparently, judging by what I saw Wayward doing, the research results was written on the lady's underpants in Braille.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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