Iranian Nuclear Talks and Trade Bargaining In Paris - Blair Blows His Top

Funny story written by Noddy Bigears

Thursday, 24 March 2005

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It Has Been Discovered That Iran Copies EU Products

Tehran's secret nuclear weapons program leaped forward with talks that have begun today in Paris. The EU's big three of Britain, France and Germany at going for Tehran as they believe that not only are the Iranians violating European trade treaties, they are secretly exporting fake alcohol free French wine, German Bratwursts without pork and British hypocrisy into Middle Eastern countries and refusing verification.

In return for verification of trade marks and samples of the European products, Iran would be rewarded with nuclear trade contracts and security guarantees that nobody would tell Washington or Moscow. Iran continues to insist that it is sticking to a full-scale domestic production for its own internal consumption but has not exported copies of the prestige brand marked European products into other Middle Eastern countries.

Professor Mohammed al-Said, who teaches Iranian export/import studies at Ein Shams University in Cairo said "Tehran has effectively used its own national goals of obtaining European Nuclear Technology in exchange for dropping the trade violations."

However, Mr. al-Said also said "The development and copying of European style commodity products has been a decades old target desired by the regime in Tehran to find a distinguished place for Iran in the international and regional markets." The professor added "Tehran believes the development and possession of Western European style product brands will drastically reverse the Iranian economy which is in deep decline." Europe is demanding that Iran will stop any potential current trade violation and is not secretly also developing brands of French Cognac, German Schnapps or Scottish Whiskey which when highly refined can be the core of explosive civilian morning after headaches.

The detailed talks are expected to continue for another few days but it is expected that the Iranians will reach a trade compromise of allowing inspection to defuse fears of any trade violations in exchange for European help including British subsidized enriched uranium, French civilian nuclear reactor designs and German atomic bomb technology.

US President Bush has not been invited but is suspected of currently preparing plans to invade Iran to find out if they have been copying and producing fake Microsoft products that cause computers to constantly crash, restart or use all the available memory.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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