James Cameron Opts Out - More Hollywood Directors Sought

Funny story written by Mike Monpas

Monday, 7 June 2010


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Well known for his abusive directing techniques within Hollywood, James Cameron was recently invited to the White House ostensibly in order to help solve the BP Oil Spill. In actuality, many insiders are commenting that the only reason Cameron was invited to the White House was for political payback owed to some of Obama's staunchest supporters.

"Yeah man, I know for a fact that the studio sent him up there just to fuck with his head," said Jeff Winters, a boom-mic operator, one of many blue collar workers within the film industry. "Everyone loved 'The Titanic' and at the Oscars, Cameron got up there on stage and yelled out Leonardo DiCaprio's fucking line, 'I'm the King of the World!', well let me be the first to point out that Cameron had me up there holding the boom mic for forty five god damn hours until he thought the line was perfect. Fuck that shit head."

It is well known within the blue collar element of Hollywood that most everyone in the audience flipped the bird toward the stage when Cameron accepted the Oscar. However, when asked why Cameron recently stormed out of the White House, calling everyone inside, "A bunch of fucking assholes," White House speaker, Robert Gibbs merely adjusted his latest fluorescent tie, and appeared oblivious.

"What was that?" asked Gibbs.

However, nothing is certain in Washington D.C. these days. The word on the street is that Steven Spielberg is next on the invite list to ostensibly help solve the BP Oil disaster. One question remains, "Will he bring Jaws or E.T. with him?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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