BP CEO goes on rant

Written by Lance.D.Boyle

Sunday, 6 June 2010


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Either way, I'M GONNA MAKE A BUCK!!!

BP has come out and blamed the citizens of the world for the mess in the Gulf of Mexico.

CEO of BP Sir Greedybastard has come forward and shocked governments worldwide with his revelation.

In a speech which was reminiscent of a Hitler rally, Sir Greedybastard screamed from the podium,

"More! More! More! that's all I ever hear from you people! I want this! I want that! Look at me!! I want more! Well now you are getting it! So quit your fricking whining!Come on down and get your free oil!!Scrape it off your wildlife!!

"The more petrol, plastic, shampoo, insect repellent, tyres, dentures, CDs, DVDs, movie film, roofing, paint, telephones, nail polish, sports shoes, diesel, perfume, golf balls you consume the more fricking oil wells and war you are gonna get! DO YOU GET WHAT I AM SAYING ?!

"It's a fucking trade off you idiots and there will be accidents! So suck the fuck up, or quit the consumption. Either way I'M GONNA MAKE A BUCK!!!".

It was about at this point that Sir Greedybastard's minders hit the 'off' switch on the microphone and literally removed the screaming man from the podium, his rasping, ranting voice could be heard as they bustled him into his bullet proof Rolls Royce.The crowd stood with their mouths open in stunned silence for several minutes and watched in amazement as the Silver Rolls sped off.

Someone in the crowd was heard to have said "I think I get it" but that voice was quickly drowned out and lost when the multitude began chanting "More Sports shoes! More tyres! More petrol! Look at me!!"

Does that Greedybastard have a point?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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