Middle East - The Sandy Bit - Executives from oil giant Batman Petroleum are appealing for crisis talks with Bedouin tribesmen after the announcement that the Ali-Wackum oilfield has been devastatingly contaminated by millions of gallons of camel piss.
CEO Bart Bastard complained to Bedouin tribal elders that the indiscriminate dumping of camel piss has resulted in the oilfield becoming severely compromised.
"Your guys keep dumping camel piss in our oil reserves and really messing it up. They have to realise that there's a fragile oil based environment out there, and that they can't just go walking their camels willy-nilly because it happens to be a desert. All we're asking is that the Bedouins observe international law and prevent their concentrated camel piss from contaminating our oil reserves. The days of the Beverly fucking Hillbillies are behind us now and we're not tolerating this camel piss any longer."
Bedouin tribesman Lancaster Bombay dismissed Bastard's complaints, saying that it's his country and he'll walk his camels wherever the hell he pleases. He pointed out that camels have been pissing in the desert for centuries and nobody had complained before.
"Him Bastard," Bombay scowled. "Him want cake and eat too. Him can fuck right off."
Which led Bastard to complain: "You see what we're up against here? Ignorance and stupidity. These people are destroying our oil for crissakes! They'd be the first to squeal if it was the other way round and we were covering their precious camels in crude."
"We no give big fuck," Bombay grinned. "We got plenty camel piss, Bastard!"
The row rumbles on.
More as we get it.
