A slug was said to be in a critical condition following eating an Australian after being challenged to a dare by a garden snail.
The slug contracted the little known disease Twat Lugworm following eating a twenty one year old from Sydney. New South Wales Police Chief Bruce Doolongagongawong said "Mate, he looks a right goner. He ate this cobber and now he is as sick as a dingo. We spoke to the snail. He feels a right dingbat now."
Indeed, the garden snail is said to be full of remorse. What started as light mickey taking about the slug being homeless led to a heavy drinking session and a really stupid dare. The snail never expected his friend to contract such a serious disease, although most people are aware of the dangers of eating Australians.
The slug is currently at the Wagga Wagga Hospital for Sheep Dip drinkers, as this is the only hospital in Australia with the necessary technology to care for him.
The final word from Doolongagongawong "Don't be a stupid bastard. Don't eat Australians!"
