Conspiracy theorist and alien lifeform watcher David Icke today claimed that Prime Minister Gordon Brown had been transmuted into a 'slimy, reptilian, alien slug'.
Speaking from his padded cell in Essex, Mr. Icke said: 'It's easy to scoff at me, but if you look closely enough the evidence is all there. When he was Chancellor, Mr. Brown was an educated Scot with a firm-but-fair grasp of economic policy and government budgeting, and was highly respected by both voters and the City. But since he became PM he's turned into a horrible slimy alien, dripping smarm and insincerity like, well, like a reptilian alien.'
Mr. Icke also pointed out that until a few weeks ago Mr. Brown spoke like most educated people from the South-East of Scotland, but now was suddenly talking like 'some sort of Little Lord Fauntelroy with an Eton accent, who can't tell his R's from his elbows, let alone pronounce them any more. This proves that the aliens have genetically modified his brain, so that his speech is now like a WRVS tealady's from Chigwell.'
This is not the first time that David Icke has made such outlandish claims - previous ones included saying that the world was controlled by aliens through the international banking system, and that President George W Bush had been the result of crossing the genes of a Martian and a brain-damaged chimpanzee. But few were taking his latest theory seriously.
Current Chancellor Alistair Darling said: 'Look, the idea that we've all been tuhned into aliens is a silly non-startah. If it was true then we'd all be changing our accents, scaring people about inflation then scaring people about deflation a week later, and mismatching our eyebrows and hair like aliens that have never visited Earth before. I mean, really.'
The truth is out there .... Scully