The fictitious existence of the single European currency is over as IMF Chief, Ban Kandout, announced at a meeting of all the Eurozone Treasury ministers,"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pass condolences on the sad demise of our much loved Euro, aged just 11."
Mr Kandout continued,"She fought against terminal illness from the start. Badly conceived, dubious parentage, lots of dodgy step-uncles and ugly step-mothers - she never had a chance."
"She suffered from volatile handling, numerous rumours behind her back and never truly loved by any of her carers. "
"Now, finally, the rug has been pulled from under her by her Greek DNA, abandoned in her hour of need by the German hospital, which could have performed a transplant to extend her short painful life a bit longer, she has expired today."
"The vacuum left by her passing will soon be filled by her many estranged siblings - Mark and Frank, for example, who have been in exile these past 11 years."
"The future is uncertain and rocky without our dearly beloved Euro."
"We mourn on her passing."
This reporter hopes that someone will tell the Lib-dems that the Euro is dead before they jump on board with her to guide them!
