Named in honour of the Irish Punt, which sank without trace following Ireland's entry into the Euro exchange rate mechanism, a new chain of pound shops -"Puntland" - will be opening all over Ireland within months. However, Puntland will be very di...
Dear Constituents I have had a very busy week and should really take a break away from the pressure of constituency work. But duty calls and, anyway, my wife thinks we should visit her mother in Macclesfield. My impending visit to Greece in time for their next bailout or complete exit from the Euro sounds like my best chance for fun before Parliament re-opens. By the way, explaining whe...
Athens - Greece has voted to print the Euro locally. According to our source, Mr. Pimpleonhishass, head of the Greek bank, the measure adopted will have Greece create money out of nothing. Greece will not return to the Drachma, but continue with the...
Chancellor Angela Merkel and Prime Minister David Cameron have clashed this afternoon in Berlin over the Euro Zone crisis. The British Prime Minister, arrived in Berlin for an urgent meeting to urge Angela Merkel to quickly sort out the Euro Zone...
Angry tourists gathered in Athens today as it emerged that Greece has ceased trading. The news emerged as German bailiffs closed in to recover unpaid bailout funds. In the words of one, Mr Hans Offenkraut: "When we broke into the country this...
A Eurodrone has hit the biggest bank in Europe resulting in a Greek farce followed by a Spanish siesta. Barack Obama, facing an election soon is defending the eurodrone attack saying that all diplomatic attempts at resolving the crisis had failed. He...
It is looking increasingly likely that Greece, sooner or later, will leave the eurozone. One of their leaders, Democratios Roussos, warned of the dangers if they didn't, citing low points in the popular Eurovision song Contest. Drastic measures h...
Athens = In a surprise move Greek officials today announced they are claiming a patent on Greek salads. They will demand royalties be paid on every Greek salad made by every restaurant in the world, beginning immediately and retroactive to 1950.
With the news that they will be thrown out of the Euro, the Greeks now have the decision to make of what to call their new currency. "We could go back to the Drachma," said head of the Greek Mint, Polo Trebor. "It's got bad memories though." In...
ATHENS - The birthplace of democracy has spawned an even more useful invention: a replacement for the Euro. New smart phones will empower Greeks to issue credit on their smart phones from nothing, just like the big German banks do it. Now, accor...
European Finance Ministers held an early morning crisis meeting in Brussels today, in order to discuss the implications for the Eurozone after both Manchester clubs crashed out of the Europa League football tournament on Thursday evening. Minister...
The besieged European Union hit a new low today when the EU's Linguistic Concordat Enforcement Unit ordered all French people to stick to speaking French. LCEU Chairpersonne Mme. Bonnie Bobsled said that French people are just embarrassing themsel...
David Cameron's New Years Resolutions for last year have been callously revealed by a former policeman who was recently made redundant by the News of the World. Ronnie, The Policeman has revealed that David Cameron only had four resolutions but th...
FRANKFURT, Germany - The European Central Bank announced at a joint press conference today with Hasbro (NASDAQ: HAS) a new partnership to restore credibility to the European money supply and ensure the future safety of the Eurozone. The plan is to...
Reuters reported increasing jitters on financial markets this week as euro leaders failed to reach agreement on which Titanic metaphor accurately summarised the UK's position. Having walked away from signing a deal agreed by all 26 other EU states, t...
MUNICH - Hans Snortlebuntof, a well known artist in the city, has leaked to the press that he has constructed his next work of art, to be revealed Jan. 2, 2012, entirely out of 1000 Euro bills. Three tons of them. According to investigative repor...
PARIS - (Rooters) A company of soldiers, in which I was embedded, invaded Paris today. Equipped with purified-aspartame spray throwers we managed to drive the Germans back to Germany. The German front is now quiet. In order to drive all the...
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