Iceland's Ash Clear Up Begins: Dyson's Cyclone Technology 'Useless'

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Tuesday, 27 April 2010

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The monumental task of clearing up the fall-out from Iceland's Eyjafjallajoekull volcano has begun in earnest today, with some questions being raised about the quality of equipment provided.

Iceland spokesperson, Kerry Katona, said, "No loss of suction my arse!" She later softened her stance by stating that "this ball thing does make it easier to go round rocks," and "has anyone seen my chicken kievs?"

It is believed that the Dyson's were drafted in to the clean-up cause as Iceland were unable to supply any specialist equipment due to the 2008 banking collapse. A government spokesperson was quick to point out that Greece would have been stuck using a dustpan and brush.

Katona herself was on hand due to some confusion by the country sharing a name with her former supermarket employers. The Icelandic minister present at the clean-up went on record claiming that, despite the mix-up, any help was welcome.

This policy appears to have later been reversed by the minister some ten minutes after meeting the former Atomic Kitten star and she returned home in shame.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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