Written by Lady Godiva

Sunday, 18 April 2010

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, boycott 'Iceland' shops. To appear on 'Oprah'.
Opera Diva

Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones are to appear via sattelite on 'Oprah' tomorrow. Oprah was so fascinated by these women, having read about them on The Spoof, that she has invited them to appear on her show.

"It amazes me that such people really exist," began Oprah. "I mean....they are so stoopid it's beyond belief. They really DO think that Iceland is a chain of stores in England and have no clue that it is a country.

These women reside in such a small world. I can't believe they have never set foot outside Middlesbrough. I intend to bring them to America and introduce them to members of The Red Scarf Brigade - Susan Boyle fanatics extaordinnaire.

I discovered that Takwana and Anitakapita haven't yet heard of Susan Boyle. These women are a real curiosity to me. I want to learn more about them and their strange lives.

I have set up an interview with them via sattelite, which will air tomorrow.

The 'South Bank Facelift' is new to me. I just might give it a try when my wrinkles begin to show."

Takwana, when told the news of their upcoming t.v. appearance asked, "Opera? Which opera? Neato! We've never been to an opera. It's sounds as fun as... in'i' Anitakapita pet? Like yer no wo' a mean? Frig, we're goin' to a bleeding opera. Do we 'ave to wear clean knickers or owt?"

We will update you on this story IF it continues.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Iceland

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