Baghdad, Iraq - Contrary to recent reports, canines all over Iraq are giving a great big case of 'Get Back'!
Tired of being portrayed as wimpy, abused puppies, canines across the country have rolled up their sleeves, put on a Chuck Norris grimace, and have started to kick some ass!
As Sgt major Whaler explains, "Here I was sitting there minding my own business when all of a sudden this bull dog slaps me upside the head! The worst part is, he looked exactly like the Marine Corp mascot!"
Another report claimed a tough, cigar-smoking Dauschund bit a Iraqi truck driver in the gonads then moon-walked across his hood!
Still another claimed a large dog with a cape and mask lifted his leg and peed on a soldier taking a nap. The stunned soldier remarked, "By golly! I swear that dog barked 'here's somma mine waterboarding, bitch!"
Graffitti, reminiscent of LA gang markings, have suddenly appeared all over walls, shrines, and automobiles paradoxically proclaiming that 'dogs rule and only people drool'! 'You da bitch, bitch!'
General Motors, commander of all allied troops, had this to say about the recent dog incidents, "They'll be no action against our beloved canine friends. I've instructed all troops to immediately stand down and to start carrying packets of dog treats. Also, I have instituted a program where we will have sufficient couches available for our canine allies to nap on."
