Unnamed U.S. Senator Engaged in "affair of the heart" with Neighbor's Doberman

Funny story written by Karen Leone

Thursday, 18 March 2010

Washington, D.C.- Anonymous sources are claiming that a prominent but presently unnamed United States Senator is engaged in an intensely emotional relationship with his next door neighbor's Doberman Pinscher.

"It's only a matter of time before the tabloids get a hold of this," said a visibly shaken staffer. For now, those close to the situation claim that the Senator's wife is standing by her man, but one noted that her support is tenuous at best and most likely will not last. "Look, nothing physical has happened," he confided, "but this truly is an affair of the heart, and in that respect it's infinitely more damaging to the marriage then even a sexual relationship might be. I doubt she'll hold up to this kind of betrayal."

Samantha, the name of the Pinscher in question, apparently is a totally different type of girl than the Senator's accustomed to- she's quiet, loyal and calm-submissive. "Whereas the Senator's wife never shuts up," said a staffer, "Sam just sits and listens."

Presently unclear is what impact the revelations will have on the Senator's re-election bid this November, but many Washington insiders merely shrugged off the rumor as "business as usual" with one stating that he wouldn't be surprised if the Senator coasted through the scandal completely unscathed. "But the Doberman's career is finished," he opined.

Others disagree about the impact of the controversy on the Senator's future. "I'm not at all surprised that this has happened," said another unnamed source with close ties to the Senator, "and the worst is yet to come because this guy's been chasing tail for years."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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