Jesus's diaries found in attic

Written by mickrikko

Sunday, 28 February 2010

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Have you ever asked yourself "What would Jesus do?", well thanks to a plucky 47 year old former con man the answer may be readily at hand.

Gary Edam, a one time benefits thief from West Yorkshire, stumbled across the find in his ex-wife's attic early last week.

"I was moving a box of old video cassettes when I saw a black and red memo book sticking out from the fibreglass. I thought to myself: hello, are these the lost musings of the carpenter of Galilee? And as it happens, they was", said Mr Edam.

Professor Pat McMurphy, Chair of Theological and Divinity Studies at Barnsley Polytechnic is somewhat more cautious about the find.

"One might expect such writings to originate in the Middle East and perhaps be in Aramaic. Colleages have suggested that they would have been written on papyrus or parchment, rather than in an excercise book", commented Prof McMurphy, "however, if he was in Dewsbury and needed to jot down a few thoughts, a Black and Red would be a reasonable choice".

The book is being analysed by the University, however Mr Edam needs no convincing as to its authenticity; "There's a bit in it where he's surrounded by Romans who want to beat him up and stuff, and he just magics his way out of it, just like in the Bible", he said.

What would Jesus do? To Gary Edam the answer is simple: "Well I'm not really one for giving advice, but I'd of wrapped it up before putting in the attic, 'cos its gone gammy down one edge and there's pigeon shit on the back cover".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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