Ex Pirate Captain In Caribbean Market Confusion

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 14 February 2010


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Oh Bollocks!

Ex pirate and globally renowned author, Captain Morse sparked all manner of confusion Thursday when he visited an island market in the Caribbean, as part of a scheduled cruise on which he was a passenger.

Initially, all went well as the scurvy seadog browsed market stalls selling spices, exotic fruits, handicrafts and local fast food varieties.

The confusion started when the ex pirate skipper happened upon a stall selling a variety of caged parrots. As one observer put it: "His eyes seemed to mist over..."

Which is where the confusion began.

"Bollocks?" Morse enquired, talking to the parrots. "Bollocks? Is that you, Bollocks? Bollocks? Are you here Bollocks? Is that really you bollocks?"

Whereon a local stallholder, who once lived in Hackney, East London, and who recognised fruity language when he heard it remonstrated with Morse and told him to watch his dirty potty mouth.

"I want Bollocks!" Morse insisted. "Is Bollocks here? Is that Bollocks! Lord I've missed my Bollocks! It's been a long time since I saw my Bollocks!"

The irate stallholder then got physical with the former pirate Captain, and they chest-bumped and growled as they stood nose-to-nose in an excellent exhibition of macho posturing.

Two local cops managed to peacefully break up the confrontation and send Morse on his way without further incident.

The last word on the subject was had by a flea bitten old parrot at the rear of the display, which said:

"Cap? Cap? Is it really you Cap, after all these years?"

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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