Karachi, Pakistan - Osama bin Ladin, the fancy pants boss of Al Qaeda, claimed credit for the attempted bombing of an Detroit bound plane Christmas day. While the plot failed it was widely praised in the terrorism community for it's effect of scaring the American public. Terrorist pundits have lauded the attack and bin Ladin, even if that son-of-a-bitch took credit from the real plotters.
"Allah damn bastard," said one planner, who asked to remain anonymous, "We spend six months, countless nights, and a lot of resources to coordinate a three country trip to result in a suicide bombing, and that cave dwelling stuffed turban takes credit when he had nothing to do with it."
Several planner who took part expressed anger over the decision, especially the announcement coming a month after the attack.
"You see, that's what that pointy-haired boss is like," said Faziq, a munitions expert who created the explosive that failed to detonate, "While he's safe in his cave hundreds of miles from the action in Yemen, he waits a month to gauge the reaction before taking all the credit. Meanwhile I get shit on for a month when the damn bomb fails do to Umar wearing boxers, instead of the briefs the plan called for."
Several terror experts say that while bin Ladin was important in the past, he has been riding on his reputation since 9/11.
"Ever since 9/11 bin Ladin gotten lazy and let others do the work for him. Sure, he passes on suggestions, but mostly they are retarded unworkable plans that he plagiarized from the fear mongers at Fox News," said Ali Tariq, editor of Terror and Jihad Weekly.
The CIA analyst say that bin Ladin's leadership is demoralizing the terror network more than any shock and awe campaign could.
"We're hoping to play on Osama's ego and have him alienate his subordinates with his massive ego. No one would put in the extra effort for a credit stealing asshole of a boss, let alone strap on a suicide vest for him. We hope to send in our headhunters to turn Al Qaeda agents and hire them to work for the agency.
