UK Pandering To US About Nonsensical Terror Threat Level Raised To 'A Bit Higher' To Get On American News

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 23 January 2010

image for UK Pandering To US About Nonsensical Terror Threat Level Raised To 'A Bit Higher' To Get On American News
'Not only were they not scared of me, they made jokes about me! If only they'd acted like Americans'

The UK's press pandering to the US and talking about ridiculous terror threat levels' levels today went up to 'a bit higher', so that children's television programmes like CNN and ABC could get all their viewers hiding behind their chairs when the news is on.

British Home Secretary Alan Johnson said it had gone up from 'childish crap' to 'a bit higher', as his and Gordon Brown's jobs rely on talking childish drivel to please millions of Americans who have never left America and know nothing about the real world.

Basque terror group ETA's spokesman Xarnxio San Jjixxzierio said from Spain: 'This is an early April Fool's joke, right? Terrorists are like us, a tiny group that has successfully fought the Spanish police and military for over 30 years without being defeated, and have assassinated people, blown them up with bombs and shot them dead. That's real terror!'

And from his luxury flat in London, paid for by British taxpayers, former Provisional IRA chief of staff Gerry Adams added: 'We destroyed entire city centres, we blew up pubs and shot dead hundreds, we were terrorists that even the British struggled to deal with.'

'So when we hear about 'terror threat levels' it's funny. I know the Brits very well, and not a single person in the UK has the slightest interest in or worries about such shite, any more than the Irish would. This is feeble propaganda to be shown on American TV to make the American think the British are scared about terrorists like they are. Yeah, right!'

Many British people have become sick of idiots like the BBC churning out lie after lie that doesn't represent the British people in the slightest. Having lived through two world wars with whole cities being destroyed, plane hijackings by Arabs,

IRA bombings and shoot-outs, and even having their island connected by tunnel to the land of the tractor-driving garlic munchers, is it likely that anyone would care in Britain about so-called 'terror threat levels'? Americans do, hence the UK government putting it in the news to make Americans feel important.

Not even a combination of the Nazis, ETA, Provisional IRA, Zeppelin bombers, Al (CIA invented)-Qaeda and Francois Mitterand would make a single Brit bat an eyelid or stop them from making another cup of tea and switching the news over in boredom. British politicians grovelling to the feeble American TV public is embarrassing.

It is also embarrassing that many Americans will believe in these lies and think the British are like them, insecure and scared of terrorists and illegal immigrants. Not even British children are scared of terrorists, and the more illegal immigrants that arrive in Britain the better, it adds interest to the UK and helps a declining population to increase.

So remember, children, never believe anything on television news is true. If you want to find out how 'scared' the British are about terror threats go and visit the place.

As American comedian Rich Hall said - not only are Brits scared of nothing but after the 7/7 bus bombings in London everything carried on as usual the next day - except that he heard quite a few complaints from people in that city. Because the buses weren't running on time!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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