Written by Tcoah

Saturday, 24 October 2009

image for Nanotech breakthrough - Welsh economy on the brink, saved
The new Welsh nanotechnology can add "P-Texture" to human skin

In glorious flashbacks to street-parties of times past, the Deputy First Minister of Wales, acting as spokesperson for "Pick at Us", announced a breakthrough new pioneering highly marketable high profit low cost high job creation technology from the footsteps of the Welsh Assembly Government building in Cardiff, Wales.

"I have an announcement," said the Deputy Welsh Minister, "Just three words, and here they are: artificial skin lesions."

Pick at Us did something that few have even thought about.

People, particularly stressed people, unconsciously pick on their skin - the back of their neck, their fingernails, even grind their teeth in their sleep.

What "Pick at Us" has come up with are artificial skin lesions that have the "feel and look" to our finger tips of actual skin lesions that we can't resist picking at.

So they act like sacrificial lambs - our brains get some kind of relief by directly fingers to pull off the lesion without actually harming the skin.

It's sounds completely daft - but actually we anticipate sales in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

IBW (International Business Wales) are fully behind the technology.

"What is truly amazing about this new nanotechnology," said an IBW spokesperson, "Is that these 'wonderful machines' cluster at random on one's skin; so our brains are exercised subconsciously looking for them and upon finding them subconsciously directs our fingers to pick at them and pull them off."

"It's like having fleas without having fleas."

"Fantastic technology," marvellous, no one outside Wales could have thought this stuff up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
76 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more