Children all over the nation will all dream of awaking this coming Christmas morning to the joys of black hands and fun of fossil fuels.
Coal is in big demand with boys and girls as they turn their backs on X-boxes and Barbies.
One well-known toy chain is sold out until the New Year as they await stocks to keep pace with the incredible demand.
"It's unbelievable! People are fighting over the last bag of coal. I haven't seen this kind of aggression since the miners strikes in the 80's", said the manager of Toy R' Shite.
Those unlucky parents who were unable to get their hands on coal for their little Jack and Jill's have had to revert to painting potatoes, polishing up dried shite and disguising nuggets of gold with oil.
