Emeryville, CA-Wham-O president and CEO Mojde Esfandiari announced today that his company was releasing a new version of their popular product, to be named the Freudian Slip 'N Slide. The design team was supposedly inspired after reading a copy of The Psychopathology of Everday Life.
"This is the best, most advanced Slip 'N Slide ever," said Esfandiari, speaking at a press conference. "It is much longer than previous versions, and consists of several sections, each intended create enjoyment in the user in a different way."
In the first part of the slide, your face and mouth are blasted by streams of water from multiple jets placed on the edges. The second part curves wildly, causing the users to have so much fun they "drop a load in their swimsuits," according to the product design team. Then the third stage begins, a straightaway flanked by waving phallic protrusions. Esfandiari warned that "during the third stage, you may briefly think of your mother. This is only temporary, and will soon pass." In the fourth and final stage, you slide into a large pool of ice-cold water to facilitate the repression of any unpleasant experiences you may have had during the course of your slide.
Consumer reviews for the product are mostly favorable. One claimed that "the Freudian Slip 'N Slide will be the new object of pleasure for your whole family!" The reviewer for the Washington Post wrote: "If only I had had one of these when I was younger. The new Slip 'N Slide provides hours of stimulation."
The product includes a safety warning that the Freudian Slip 'N Slide is only intended only for use by children. Use by adults or individuals over the age of 16 has been known to result in serious injuries including: broken or fractured limbs, whiplash, parapalegia or quadrapalegia, and Oedipus complex.
"Trust me," said Esfandiari. "After you set this thing up in your backyard, you will be the envy of all your neighbors."
