Krakow - (Lech Walesa): Two Barrow-in-Furnest orinthological abusers have discovered Krakow's national passerine depravity hub.
The Cumbrian duo travelled to Poland's premier bird-toss festival last week much like sex tourists homing in on Thighland.
Pals said the trip was a right eye-opener for the lads who previously hadn't travelled further than the local Bernard Madoff turkey factory.
Festival reporters commented today that two unidentified birds were unable to open their wings after a perverted assault on their gonads.
"Their surnames were not released under Poland's draconian orinthology privacy laws," a spokesman for Twitchers Anonymous said today.
But UK perpetrators Cliff Bushey and Dave Wagtail had their mugshots posted all over the Polish Faecesbook webshite before being deported back home in a pickled gherkin lorry.
Lech Walesa is daft as a brush.