Written by Rebut

Tuesday, 17 August 2004

image for Olympic Games Results and News Day 3
Did you hear the BBC's baseball...I'm still laughing

No matter the sport, no matter the venue and whatever the occasion there can be no finer institution to cover it, than the BBC World Service's Radio commentary. In Athens to cover the baseball game between Cuba and Japan would be a local commentator Ken Taki Friedchickenous, who speaks English, with an English co-commentator to comment on individual plays. In this case the Guardian's Harry Pearson, a man so staid Barbra Woodhouse couldn't get him up for walkies.

Please bear in mind that the BBC have certain unavoidable coverage which will be featured regardless of the time or point in the game. Vital issues like the council election in South Woking and the weather.

Studio : Lets now join Harry and Ken at the Roundersbutmoreprofessionalus Stadium for the live group match between Cuba and Japan.

KF : Challo Chi Cham Chere weeth mya chold fren' Charry Pearson fromma Chengerland to watcha the baseaballa...Charry?

HP : Yes?

KF Noa when Chi saya Charry youa make commenta chokay?

HP : ......it's fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went...

KF : Chenglish humour chi love it...

HP : More a filler when I can't understand anything..

KF : Chokay ...well it's Chastro chup to the mound, throwsa......

BBC : .....I repeat no gale warning. The North East will be partly cloudly and mild with scatter........(15 minutes worth)

KF : CHwelcome backa chi canna tella you thata we area now bottoma ofa the 7th inningsa and it is no scorea so far Charry.....

HP : ....eating her kurds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened poor ......

KF : Waita Hitachi isa nowa up to batta....hea no scorea but he looksa gooda...swingsa it looks likea it is gooooooooooooo

BBC : Jennifer Dobson , New Labour 1221 votes, Alan Smythe, Tory 1212 votes and Robyn Marshal Liberal Democrats 675 votes.

Paul Terry is in Woking, Paul we know that South Woking is vital to New Labour because of it's strategic position not so?

PT : Yes indeed if New Labour were to concede this council it would hold a mere 432 to 402 majority in councils and that could be perceived in some quarters as a sign of weakness.

BBC : Thank you Paul before we return to our live Baseball I would just remind our local fisherman that there is no gale warning, say again there is no gale warning...back to Ken and Harry...

HP : ...and all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty togeth........

KF : .......bottoma offa the 9tha anda it'sa now alla ora nothing bechausea 1 homea runna eacha hassa a tieda balla gamea ...whata drama herea eh Charry?

HP : ...the cow jumped over the moon......

KF : Sorreee mya fren'a butta issa Kawasaki uppa to batta...you coulda saya the villagea bikea eh? Swingsa, it looks likea the awinna itsa up, uppa, uppa an' awwwaaaa.....

BBC : ...I repeat there is no gale warning....

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Baseball, Japan

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