March Madness Turns Into April Apathy

Funny story written by Deanna Goodson

Friday, 2 April 2004

"The NCAA tournament is dragging on and on and on. I'm ready to watch some baseball now. I am so bored," Aggie Homerunner said today from her home in Texas.

"I mean, really, who cares now who's gonna win? UT and A&M aren't in it. I'm ready to check in on the Astros and such," she said as she spit out some of her chawin' tobaccey, as she calls it.

"Besides, they call it March Madness and here it is April. The Men's final is Monday, April 5th and the Women's final is Tuesday, April 6th. I ain't no Rhodes scholar or nothing, but March Madness shouldn't continue on into April, now should it?" Bubba Bo Bob Raygun yelled at me from his front porch where he was sipping some iced tea, looking at his You Might Be A Redneck wall calendar and fixin' to shoot him some critters fer dinner, as he said.

"The only ones who care about this debacle now are students, alumni and such near Georgia Tech, Duke, UConn and Oklahoma State, on the men's side. On the women's side, the final four are: Minnesota, UConn, Tennessee and LSU. It's just not as important to people as it was in the beginning. It's a bit boring now." A Harvard professor of Egyptology and Cult Sporting Events named Capitan Obviousness said today.

"It's just a big yawn. I wonder why UConn is in both final four events. Do I smell a controversy? Nope. I don't care. I've got bigger fish to fry, don't I?" National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice supposedly said at a fish-frying event that she, Colin Powell and Dick Cheney attended this past week.

Stay tuned to the Spoof for more information on the final outcomes of these events just in case you don't like to take sleeping pills. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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