George W. Bush is close to releasing a book of his personal memoirs, one former presidential insider claims. "The content will be completely introspective and based on his numerous accomplishments".
The short pamphlet was released to his editors two months ago but was returned to the former President for more content. Asked by the publisher to focus more on "Bush" rather than any specific list of Bush's accomplishments, the former President took the advice to heart and locked himself in his office until a more suitable draft could be produced. Former First Lady, Laura Bush admitted later, that George wasn't really locked in at all; she just needed to show him how to open the door.
Caught by reporters near Crawford, Texas last week, the former president was asked if he was any closer to completing his personal memoirs when he responded, "Why yes. Thank you for asking". Prodded for more, the former President added, "I wrote about what I know best; Bush", he said.
Returned for the second time by his editors, the memoir draft contained 37 pages of notes and instructions on what to write and how, including a section on punctuation and common literary phraseology. Insiders tell reporters that the former President also misunderstood the last set of instructions as well, focusing on the nether regions of a woman's personals, and how men of his own age don't get to see it as often. "They told me to focus on Bush, and I did what they told me."
Publishers are now considering a pop up children's book that the President might be qualified to write. It is tentatively titled, "The Big Eared Man in the Big White House".