BNP leader Nick Griffin, and Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke were spotted by gossip columnist, Angastura Bitters, entering A Bangladeshi restaurant in Brick Lane, East London, and having a curry together.
Madame Bitters told me:
"I couldn't believe my eyes. Nick Griffin, who made a total twat of himself last week with his racist views on 'Question Time' stopping off with one of America's most racist men.
"For a frickin' curry!
"If it had been a 'Pie 'n' Mash' place I could have understood it. But two of the world's leading racists meeting up in one of East London's most ethnically diverse areas...that intrigued my Texan orneriness."
Unfortunately, by the time we arrived, the happy couple had already departed, but curry house owner Ali Bullo, who once ran a kebab van at Mount Everest Base Camp (and who is also really Turkish, but owns the curry house and employs Bangladeshis) told us:
"The Griffin order a Jalfrezi, the Duke order a Vindaloo. I think the Duke a bit more extreme. Him like stuff hot, hot, hot. Staff have good laugh when they see who meal for. Mustapha, him jizz in the vindaloo. Him real quick at knuckle shuffle. Ha ha. Mahmit, him wipe arse on serving spoon after big shit.
"Griffin and Duke no bother! They eat. They enjoy food. Have poppadom. Mop up sauce. We trouser piss laughing from kitchen. We watch them eat shit! Even dinner plate, was in same sink where Imran wash bloody dirty stinky feet.
"We not treat proper customers like this. We treat proper customer with respect. This people, we take advantage. Why? How can these pricks love our cuisine, but hate us as people? Fock these people. I say racist bastard deserve to have plate washed with feet, shit and jizzle in curry. Bastards."
Griffin and Duke paid their bill and left the curry house looking fed and contented.
And unreasonably smug.
More as we make it up!