Monkey Woods Makes Uninformed Decision With Dire Consequences

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

image for Monkey Woods Makes Uninformed Decision With Dire Consequences
Get one - there's nothing gay about umbrellas!

It might have been a scene out of an international best-selling novel by a top author, but it wasn't, it was just a man making a silly mistake about the purchase - or not, as it happens - of an umbrella on Monday night, which resulted in a soaking on Tuesday morning!

The man, me, had just seen his friend, Dirk Astan, onto the Bangkok BTS monorail system at the National Stadium station at around 10.30pm on Monday night, and decided to take a look at the wares being offered on sale by vendors on the raised walkways that lead away towards Siam Square.

All manner of shit was on sale there, from T-shirts, to handbags, purses, creative jewellery and shoes. What struck the man's eye, however, were some delicately-painted beautiful umbrellas at only 79 Baht - around £1.50 in real money.

He perused them at length before deciding that he didn't really need one, and walked back to his hotel only five minutes away. On arrival, he went to his room, had a shower and went to bed. No wanking was performed.

Waking at 6.30am next morning, he found to his horror that the sky had broken, and rain was pouring in by the bucketful. The trouble was, he absolutely HAD TO leave the hotel by 7.30am - what a dilemma!

Praying for the rain to stop over his breakfast of two slices of toast, a cup of tea and a lovely red piece of papaya, the man watched as the rain became heavier. He knew then that his goose was cooked, and that the Weather God was laughing at him.

After settling up his bill with a sneering and ugly hotel receptionist, he ventured out into the deluge, and was soaked within seconds - a lesson for all the tight, greedy bastards amongst us who think they can manage without the humble umbrella.

And they're NOT GAY!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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