"I was amazed that the PGA would consider changing it's rules after all these years just because a certain person has trouble with his stomach when the game gets close and cuts loose a fart or two", stated golf legend, Arnold Palmer.
Palmer went ahead and told reporters about back in the days when they actually had farting contests during the game.
"Back then the game was a lot more fun and it was considered a tie if (Jack) Nicklaus won the game but I won the farting contest. Of course, you never had people's noses up your ass looking at twenty different angles the guy just hit the ball from the sand trap. It's a shame that we've lost that fun part. Today it's more like a business but so are most sports."
Asked if Tiger Woods is the greatest of all time, Arnold asked if we meant farting of playing golf. Then laughed and said, "How could you ever tell that?"
"Today's golfers have equipment we never dreamed about. But I guess our clubs were a lot better than when Bobby Jones played the game."
When the farting questions came back around Palmer told about Sam Sneed's hay fever and the roaring sneezes he tried to suppress and would fart instead.
"You want to get tickled so you can hardly hit the next shot, you hear a muffled sneeze and a roaring fart both!"
Palmer then suggested that the hole question be dropped, snickered at his pun, and was busy telling about the time Julius Boros ripped the seat out of his pants as a couple of us walked away to post our stories.
