Oslo, Norway, / Statue Controversy Continues - Crowds continue to crowd around Oslo's most popular bronze statue in Frogner Park, drawn to the world famous figure of a naked male child whose penis has been polished to perfection, while the rest of the statue remains enveloped in a weathered patina.
The park, a testimonial to the Norwegian Sculptor, Gustov Vigeland, who devoted his life to the creation of over 212 Granite and bronze statues, draws millions of world tourists every year.
Park curators, acting as 'Penile Protectors' have reported an increase of middle aged male European Tourists wearing berets and seen openly rubbing the tip of the child's penis, a compulsive habit apparently cultivated in the liberal country of France, and described laughingly in side walk cafe's as 'Polishing the Knob", a reference to the French proclivity of throwing up their arms, dropping their drawers and surrendering to their baser Gallic instincts.
When confronted, one such tourist on holiday from Paris as part of a world wide sex tour, with an ultimate destination of Pattaya, Thailand, said he liked to rub the pubescent penis 'just for luck!' The tourist, identified as Jacques "the snail" Escargot, said he had been encouraged to 'come out of the garden and leave a slime trail' after continued support for paedephilia by several Hollywood notables.
A French government official has also recently weighed in on the insignificance of paedephilia, saying, "The world has bigger troubles than worrying about people taking advantage of little kids...over here, sex offenders are required to register, but only as a marketing tool!"
According to earlier international tabloids, the official has been known to have had her share of erotic sexual adventures before marrying. Escapades allegedly involve a number of tattooed rock stars, sexually deprived British Pols who needed to be 'dominated', and even a bizarre encounter with former President Bill Clinton in a 'left bank' cigar store which reportedly left her 'damp and exhausted.'
Meanwhile, the Norwegians, no prudes when it comes to sex, are really pissed about what they consider "crimes against nature" to one of their 'National Treasures.'
"Fuck those French, " said one North Sea Oil Baron, " now you know why Sarkozy lost out to Obama for the Nobel Prize....he keeps bending over for those paedophiles....it's a disgrace!"
Park officials have placed a "Penis Sheath' made of a Sea Lion's Foreskin over the Angry Boy's Member, and said given time, and some more rainy weather, healing should be complete by the Spring Thaw.
