Missing Johnny Cash Song Discovered

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

image for Missing Johnny Cash Song Discovered
Will the new country lyrics be a hit for a younger generation?

A long rumored song by Johnny Cash has been discovered in a trunk in Nashville, Tennessee. The song was supposedly the original lyrics to "I Walk The Line" and uses the same music. It is also a rare 1950's tune in support of the gay community.

Buzz Deechord, official historian of the Grand Old Opry, said that "we've all heard that these lyrics existed for years, but there's no one out there that ever actually heard them. The story goes that Johnny sung the song for a record producer and was told that them faggoty words wasn't gonna fly in the South. Instead, he used that same catchy tune and used it with I Walk The Line. The rest is history."

"Rumor was that the song was in support of several different perversions: gays, gerbilling, etc. Now that I've actually seen the lyrics, I can understand why it was never released."

"I never thought that the words I Tie The Line could refer to the string on a gerbil, but I guess that's what Johnny wanted."

The recently discovered song lyrics are:

"I keep a close watch on this mouse of mine,
I keep my cheeks wide open all the time,
I'll keep his tail attached good to this twine!
Because you're mine, I'll tie the line.

I find it very, very easy to be blue
When I auto asphixiate with you,
Yes, I'll admit that I do love to screw!
Because you're mine, I'll tie the line.

If your skin is dark or if it's light,
You can tie me up both day and night,
Multiple orgasms prove our love is right?!
Because you're mine, I'll tie the line.

San Francisco's gays, they brought me to your side,
Texas and Wyoming were not places to hide,
At our wedding, we can both be the bride!
Because your mine, I'll tie the line.

I keep a close watch on the boys divine,
I keep my fudge packed tightly all the time,
You stick your butt out or I'll stick mine,
Because you're mine, I'll tie the line."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more