Sarkozy severs diplomatic relations with Norway

Funny story written by French Marilyn

Saturday, 10 October 2009

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Nobel Peace Prize is mine, says Sarkozy

France's President Sarkozy has severed diplomatic relations with Norway. In a short statement the presidential Elysée Palace issued to the diplomatic corps in Paris no reason was given for such an unprecedented decision in a time of peace between two nations.

Presidential aides have however told journalists that Monsieur Sarkozy is furious that the Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee had not awarded him the 2009 Peace Prize.

Omitting to name the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize laureate (President Obama), the aides said that the prize should have gone to Monsieur Sarkozy.



The reasons they give are:

  • He is not vain; only 4'1" in height, he refuses to stand on a box in order to appear taller when making a speech from a podium.
  • His wife is the prettiest of First Ladies and Woody Allen agrees with him.
  • His wife has the smallest behind of First Ladies and Hillary Clinton agrees with him.
  • His wife is the tallest of First Ladies and Prince Charles agrees with him.
  • His wife can't sing and everyone agrees with him.
  • He says bonjour nicely to Louis XV1's ghost when he comes across him when spending weekends in the dead king's Chateau in Versailles.
  • His nose is as long and crooked as that of the dead king, but unlike the dead king he has not put his profile on France's money.
  • He has done more for sex tourism (making it respectable and totally acceptable) than anybody else when he appointed Frederic Mitterrand as France's Minister of Culture; for this alone he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Meanwhile, to retaliate for the Nobel snub, Monsieur Sarkozy has banned shish kebab from being served in French restaurants.

Shish kebab?

When told that he must surely mean smorgasbord, he snapped: "Whatever!"

The ban remains.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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