Alert French citizens finally noticed yesterday that their president, Nicholas Sarkozy, is really really short. In denial for years, France has finally acknowledged that his wife is taller than he and that he sometimes stands on boxes to fool tout le monde. This ploy, clever though it may be, is no longer working. The secret is out.
French citizens headed to bistros today to discuss the implications of the revelation. "Sacre bleu," several were heard!" to say, "This must mean that size does matter after all!"
In an effort to help his cause, Carla Bruni has reported herself ready to have her legs surgically shortened or alternatively, to get knee walking drunk and stay that way.