Kanye West Blames His Taylor Swift Outburst On Twinkies

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 14 September 2009

image for Kanye West Blames His Taylor Swift Outburst On Twinkies
Taylor Swift reacting to Kanye West aka Kanye Pest grabbing the mic out of her hand.

NEW YORK CITY - The audience at the MTV Music Awards did a collective mouth-opening take as Kanye West jumped on stage in the middle of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for "Best Female Video."

The 19-year-old Swift was visibly shocked and shaken as the rude and crude dude Kanye West aka Kanye Pest interrupted her as she was giving thanks for receiving her first "Moon Man" award for her song "You Belong To Me."

The Pest took Taylor's microphone away and said that Taylor was good, but that Beyonce was better, taller, and prettier.

He also added that his 'girl' Beyon, as he calls her, has much more talent in her left (one) than little Swifty, as he called Taylor, has in her entire Caucasian body.

The stage trespasser went on to rant that the well-endowed Beyonce did not win because she was the only non-white girl in the category. The other nominees were white girls Pink, Lady GaGa, Kelly Clarkson, and Ann Coulter.

Kanye, which rhymes with 'jerk' said that he is sick and tired of African American singers, movie stars, and NBA players being mistreated by voting committees, hair stylists, and KFC employees.

He went on to inform, or rather as he put it, educate the viewing pubic watching in the building, at home, and at the thousands of neighborhood bars that talented blacks have been discriminated against since the cotton pickin' days when they worked as cotton pickers for mean sumbitch plantation overseers who did not allow their employees to sing, dance, or even play basketball.

Toby Keith finally jumped on stage and got Kanye Pest in a headlock and quasi-dragged him off of the stage where Kanye's manager Mubamba Washington confronted his client and asked, "Brother Kanye, my rich, rich, filthy rich brother, what da hells is you be doin' dude?"

Kanye just shook his head and said, "Fashissel, pissel, quissel?"

Washington fired back, "Hey Bro, stop with that fashissel, pissel, quissel bullsh*t, look in the mirror fool, you ain't Snoop Dogg."

West looked down at the floor, he then looked up at Washington and said, "Bro, I really thinks that it was the Twinkies."

SIDENOTE: Kanye Pest's manager Mutamba Washington told him to lay low for a few days while he figures out a way to 'unmess' his latest 'mess'. Washington has apparently already given a statement to Internet blogger Perez Hilton that the reason for Kanye's outburst was due to the fact that right before the award show Kanye had quickly chowed down nine Twinkies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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