Cockshutt Woodcocks to Audition Cockettes

Funny story written by smurfette

Thursday, 10 September 2009


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image for Cockshutt Woodcocks to Audition Cockettes
the 'cocks discuss the imminent formation of a dance team to support the football club

COCKSHUTT, NEW ZEALAND, UK Hoping to capitalize on favorable publicity generated by the entire team's appearance at the recent National Penis Day celebration, "Big" Dick Johnson, team captain of the popular Cockshutt Woodcocks Football Club, detailed plans for the formation of a dance team (which will cheer the 'cocks on as well as entertain fans during the half-time breaks), at a press conference today.

Johnson envisions a professional dance troupe patterned after the world famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and the Lakers Girls fused with the blatant sensuality of the porristas of Mexico.

Applications are currently being accepted; the final nude dance off is planned for 28 September, International Breast Awareness Day (I-BAD). Hal O. Peen-O'Man, chairman and founder of I-Bad, is slated to be the head judge at the dance off and is widely considered an expert in the field of Jigglology. It has been rumored that his associate Buck Sweet-Butt may join him on the panel of esteemed experts on female anatomy from around the world.

Applicants must submit the application, along with their measurements (including cup size), model comp card, head shots, full length glossies (full frontal nudity required), damages waiver, image release form, and complete resume to The, in care of Mark Lowton, by 21 September to be considered; finalists will be contacted personally with audition information.

Johnson anticipates a huge outpouring of interest.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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