In the latest diplomatic overture from the Obama administration to the North Korean government, U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton offered to get husband Bill Clinton to help North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il pick up women more successfully in exchange for the dismantling of his country's nuclear weapons program.
"While the North Korean president can have any woman he wants thanks to the steel-fisted, dictatorial grip he has on the entire population, he has communicated through numerous subordinates that sexual satisfaction on demand cannot alleviate a sense of loneliness and melancholy that comes from never having a relationship with a female who isn't being forced to enjoy his company at gunpoint.
The United States government is prepared to offer the services of my husband, former president Bill Clinton, who, as is well-documented, is quite skilled when it comes to manipulating women into having mostly consensual sex with him."
Reached for comment, the former president said he hopes Jong-Il will accept the offer as it would "coincide nicely with an Asian phase I'm going through."
