Pope Benedict the 16th nominated a triumvirate of entertainment industry saints as martyrs to the bloodthirsty media. Benedict explained that all three suffered tremendously at the hands of media hounds who feed on the sensitive and the talented.
Marilyn Monroe , Benedict recalled, was an incredible beauty who could play dramatic and comic roles brilliantly. she even had the good sennse to fuck the first American catholic president after she got over her little kosher phase with Arthur Miller. Elvis was a deeply religious man who was driven to drug abuse by the media vultures and of course King of Pop , Wacko Jacko was pushed to his grave by the intolerant media elite.
All I know, pledged the Pontiff, is that the next time those reporters mess with me, I will be praying, Sts Marilyn, Elvis and Jocko, pray for me!
