Murder Charge Against 'White Elite' Kenyan Heir Reduced To Manslaughter

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Friday, 8 May 2009

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The Hon Tom Cholmondeley (pronounced Chumley) was found guilty of manslaughter by a Kenyan court judge, who had reduced the charges from an initial accusation of murder.

Cholmondeley, an Old Rottingfestarian and heir to a 49,000 acre estate lived a privileged existence in Kenya while his neighbours battled starvation, disease, and insanitary living conditions in grossly overcrowded circumstances.

Chumley, as we'll call him from hereon in, reportedly shot and killed a poacher, Robert Njoya, 37, whilst out and about lording it up.

Chumley denied shooting Njoya with murderous intent, stating that he was very drunk at the time of the incident and had probably mistaken the man for a giraffe. So he shot him dead. The Old Rottingfestarian expressed no regret for his actions, saying only that local people shouldn't go creeping around in the bush at twilight when they know full well that drunken colonialists are mooching about with big guns.

"What do they expect will happen?" he said in court.

Sentencing to follow.

More White Mischief as we get it.

We've got it. Update:

Cholmondeley was sentenced to eight months. Go figure.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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