Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

image for JW Bobbitt Still Buys Lorena Flowers
Just A Little Thankyou For Cutting My Cock Off - JW

It was the most wince-inducing news story of 1993 when it was revealed that Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's penis as he slept, before fleeing in her car and tossing the severed organ out of the car window into the night.

Fortunately (or not, depending on your point of view) John Wayne Bobbitt survived the ordeal, the severed penis was located and successfully reattached during a marathon surgical procedure. So successfully in fact that JW Bobbitt enjoyed brief notoriety as an adult movie performer.

This week the pair were reunited on a US tabloid TV show, where, surprisingly it was revealed that Bobbitt still harbours romantic feelings towards his incisive ex.

"He sends me flowers, and Valentine's cards,stuff like that," Lorena said. "It's like in his head we're still married or something."

Bobbitt himself appeared to regret the couple's marriage break up (Lorena now refers to herself as Lorena Gallo) saying that he didn't understand at the time how sensitive Lorena is.

Somewhat baffled we contacted a TheSpoof.com writer who we cannot name for contractual reasons - renowned for being the creator of Barghis Tryhol, the man with the world's largest penis - for comment.

BuckwheatsButt told us:

"Buy her flowers and Valentine's cards? Are you kidding? I'd have blown her to smithereens years ago if she'd done that to me! Bitch!"

More when Buck stops foaming at the mouth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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