Written by Stone Riprock

Wednesday, 30 June 2004

image for Iraq: Saddam to Be Tried on "American Idol"

BAGHDAD - In a surprise move, the new Iraqi government announced that Saddam Hussein would be tried not in an Iraqi court, but on the hit television show, "American Idol." Prime Minister Aldullah Watya-Saya told reporters, "The idea is that Saddam sings a number, or maybe he does a little dance, or some card tricks, or whatever it is that he wants to do. And then those Americans tear him to shreds. I remember that black girl that they all voted off. I felt so bad for her that I cried for days. Never did I realize there was such suffering. When the Americans told us we would get Saddam back, I knew right away, this was the thing to do."

American officials are surprised by the idea, but receptive. "Our goal is to see that the Iraqi people see justice served," said Maj. Gen. Ramrod Ethnez, commander of US forces in Iraq. "Nobody deals out harsher justice than the American public." L. Paul Winston Everett-Binker von Rothenaugh III, Acting Advisory Liaison for the Interim Iraqi Government, agreed. "The idea took a few minutes to sink in, but then we saw the genius in it," he said. "This way, the Iraqi people see justice served, Saddam gets what he deserves, the American people have a voice in it...and who knows, maybe we'll even get a little entertainment along the way."

Hussein is reportedly taking voice coaching at the American jail where he is held.

Meanwhile, Muqtada al-Sadr, leader of a militant faction in Fallujah, cried foul. "Just because Saddam was president, Saddam did this, Saddam did that, so now they put him on 'American Idol,' and what about my fine singing voice, I tell you? I terrorize people as much as Saddam ever did, and I was singing with a jazz band in the late 80's. And this was not some amateur thing that a bunch of high school boys might do. We were good, we were really good. But Saddam gets all the press, so now Saddam gets his big shot. And I sit here with nothing."

Al-Sadr said he may file suit seeking a way to force the show to put him on the bill as well.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Iraq, American Idol

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