Washington,DC/ Smoking Head News - President Barrack Obama didn't waste anytime acting on Attorney General Eric Holder's ruling that Medical Marijuana is now legal in the District of Columbia, joining 13 other states in dispensing the drug.
Obama commemorated the ruling with the ceremonial opening of a "Fat Boy Pharmacy" branch in the White House, including on staff medical personnel to write prescriptions "as needed".
Fat Boy Pharmacy, a drug company founded in San Francisco, recently offered an IPO handled by former ML CEO John Thain. First day trading which opened at $15 per share, closed at $137 after brisk trading. Founder and CEO Nancy Pelosi, counts most of the California Congressional legislators as major stock holders for the Corporation, licensed and doing business in the tax haven of American Samoa.
Calling it a victory for the "Grass Roots" campaign founded by aging Hippies Ryan O'Neal, William Ayers, and Mick Jaeger, Holder said it would also save US taxpayers millions of dollars as law enforcement efforts would be curtailed chasing down cannabis users, and instead be funneled toward helping the President and the IRS vett potential cabinet members.
"To date," said Holder, "we have been unable to complete the staffing for our friend, Tim Geithner in the Treasury Department. We now have 17 under cabinet positions to fill and the Secretary has been unable to complete any of his assignments, including briefing Congress, and the American Public, on what is happening to curtail the economic carnage in our country. With additional investigators on the staff, we are hopeful, that somewhere, somehow, in a population of 350 Million Americans we can find those 17 people who have correctly filled out their tax forms, have not employed illegal aliens, do not have children out of wedlock, and have not defrauded the government, or their employers in the civilian sector."
Las Vegas statisticians placed the odds at 1200-1, predicting that Geithner would soon be known as "The Lone Ranger of Pork" on conservative Blogs!
In a show of support and sympathy, Obama assigned the first prescription for 30 "joints" to his besieged Treasury Secretary, with 4 years of refills."Hopfully, this will cure Tim's anxiety, nausea and glaucoma," the President quipped, " and should aid him in concentrating on the Teleprompter during important proclamations." The President neglected to say that Cannabis does not cure diarrhea of the mouth, stuttering or habitual lying and fabrication.
Not only did Obama sign the bill with 52 pens, the group of Democrats including Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and all inner city Mayors passed around a Giant Hand Rolled "Fattie" prepared by Rep. John Murtha to celebrate the festive occasion. Befitting his stature, the President used a custom Bong inscribed with the Presidential Seal, and indicated reproductions were available at the White House Gift Shop, or on line at "Go Obama Dude.com".
On Rush Limbaugh's afternoon show, the Conservative Icon had this to say;
"Well, I guess that answers the question we all wanted to know while he's been rushing us into Socialism: 'What's he smokin'!" It's official, ladies and gentlemen, we are now led by a bunch of Pot Heads!"