Obama Urges Americans To "Trust in Their Financial Institutions", Is This a Spoof?

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 8 March 2009

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Fort Knox, KY/ Site of Last American Dollar Under Siege - Coached by a Teleprompter hastily installed on the mini-bar on Air Force I, President Obama presided over a rambling, self aggrandizing political speech to adoring "Journalists" on his way to a secret island retreat after a "grueling" week being "Presidential."

Among the topics covered by the rolled up sleeved statesman,(I'm working, you know) was upcoming talks with Muslims in Turkey, Accommodation for the Taliban in Pakistan, Nuclear Technology for North Korea and Iran as a showing of "Brotherhood", and $900 million in additional taxes on wealthy Jewish constituents in the USA for the rebuilding of Gaza.

Of minor interest to the President was the worsening financial situation in the US, the loss of additional jobs, and the continued failing of Financial Institutions.

Obama blamed the perception of an unhealthy banking climate on Conservative Talk Show Host Rush Limbaugh, a perception validated, apparently by Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel and Clinton apologist James Carville, who bears a striking resemblance to the World's Ugliest Cat featured on most news programs last week. The cat lives in New Hampshire, while Carville, it has been disclosed, hides himself somewhere in a Democratic Controlled Shelter in the Capitol area described by Chris Matthews as a "Liberal Think Tank."

Obama apparently had not been informed by his Treasury Secretary Tim "the Taxman" Geithner, that 17 banks have failed in the US recently, including 7 in the state of Georgia alone, as he assailed Americans for "stuffing their mattresses with cash" instead of trusting the banking fraternity.

Investigative Tax Watch Dogs in Washington have discovered in recent days, that apparently the President doesn't have much faith in American Banking despite his protestations to the contrary. Freedom of information acts have confirmed that the President has his checks direct deposited to the Bank of Zimbabwe, controlled by Socialist Dictator Mugabe.

Additional information is emerging that Zimbabwe, along with Kenya have been granted sole agency for the sale of $5 Trillion in newly issued US Treasury Bills, a stop gap measure to pay for increased Democratic earmarks to get through fiscal year 2009.

Secretary Geithner, caught off guard by reporters when questioned about this newest financial scheme, said everything was above board. " Listen, " he said,"The Brothers have personally vouched for the funds entrusted to them, and guaranteed a return of 35%, and possibly more, depending on whether or not Israel takes out Iran. We get cash shipped over to the Treasury every month by special courier, and in turn we give them lists containing 25,000 Social Security numbers from the few remaining Republican Self Employed Business Owners. What they do with those numbers I don't know, but I think they are exchanged to Nigeria in some time of Bartering arrangement."

Geithner also said he approved, in theory, Governor Patrick's proposed "Hummer Tax" in Massachusetts. "Everyone is obligated to pay their taxes," he said, "especially when they get caught trying to avoid them!"

Congressman Charles Wrangle (sic) agreed, but only in theory. "We're speaking hypothetical here, right," he slyly asked a Fox News reporter when confronted about his delinquent tax payments.

Can't trick Charlie, he's a master of the game!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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