Statistics Show 77% of all Terrorists are Moslem

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Statistics Show 77% of all Terrorists are Moslem
The spire of this mosque is actually a nuke pointed at civilization.

The original World Trade Center bombing. 9/11. The Spanish Mass Transit System. All of these acts of terrorism were performed by men who followed the Moslem faith, worshipped Allah, and expected to be greeted by 72 virgins at their deaths. In fact, statistics have shown that 77% of all acts of terrorism in the last twenty years have been performed by Moslems/Muslims.

Coming in a distant second were the non religious socialists of Kim Il Jong of North Korea. In third place were the mostly Catholic death squads of Hugh Chavez. Fourth place went to the Neo-Nazi and skin head groups (such as the men who blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City). First place, however, is dominated by the followers of Islam.

While the Koran does not promote flying airplanes into buildings containing thousands of people, Mohammed did not order his followers to blow trains, and Allah does not require his worshippers to attack cruise ships, the Shiites, Sufis, and Sunnis have embraced violent death as a way of life.

When asked why this group of supposedly religious people would commit such acts of atrocity more often than any other religious group, it was determined by social scientists that it was because they were not drinking enough caffienated soft drinks.

"You know what they say," said Dr. Horace Campbell. "Have a Coke and a smile. A Coke and a smile makes you feel good. Drink Dr. Pepper, the joy of every boy and girl. Dr. Pepper hits the spot. The Pepsi generation: when you're living, you belong."

"I think another reason for their being so mean and vicious has something to do with not bathing."

Campbell continued by saying that "Moslems, however, are so vengeful, self centered, and without any sense of honor that they will slit the throat of anyone disagrees with.....glug, glug, glup, gasp".....thump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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