After decades of being manipulated by the Western world, the Muslim one finally struck back at the USA by posting thousands of shoes to it.
'This will sort the Infidels out once and for all!', radical cleric Mustapha Quppa screamed, before sending his shoe to Detroit by express delivery, 'now they will see that Islam can never be defeated! Where's my athlete's foot cream?'
And another fanatical and dangerous Muslim, Qartoon Git Beardi, added: 'Death to America! Death to Israel! Stop laughing at me! As long as the Holy Shoes of Islam can be flown across the world to Westerners, then - er - well, that will strike fear into the hearts of all who dare to not wear shoes. After 6 o'clock!'
Some have suggested that Islam is stuck in the Middle Ages, and is about as relevant to the modern world as the Roman Catholic Church, but others were more cruel. 'Posting shoes is about as helpful as picking your nose and flicking the bogey at someone', CIA employee Osama Bin Laden said, 'or burning the US flag, wow, that's surely changed things for the better. Where's my lighter?'
But US President Barack Obora said: 'I think, in time, we can see that shoes are, in fact, an essential part of what is, for now, a valid point for the people of ...', and shoe-wearers began to commit suicide across the world to avoid listening to another vapid, droning, bland speech from someone who is already the most boring President in history.