Ljubljana, Slovenia/ Vanity Fair Life Style & Travel Section - A fleet of Air Force luxury VIP planes landed at this picturesque village today, disgorging a flock of exhausted Democrat Congressman, emotionally drained after passing the $1.3 Trillion stimulus bill, and in need of a much needed rest.
The touring group, headed by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, whose personal baggage included 8 international travel trunks, a make up artist, personal shopper, a colorist, and butler, ostensibly traveled ,all expenses paid, to meet at an international council and discuss financial restraint.
The three day meeting included a 3 hour strategy session, after which the participants were free to roam around the city and go shopping to stimulate Slovenia.
Following the conference the group was off to Italy to enjoy 5* luxury accommodations and dining, with daily expenses exceeding $1,000 per day, not including $155 opera tickets, personalized bottles of olive oil with Pelosi's name on it which she had commissioned, or a ward robe makeover from some of Italy's most famous, and expensive designers .
A spokesman for the House speaker said the trip was part of a fact finding mission on the part of Pelosi, and she was especially interested to tour the Italian postal service and pick up some tips to run the debt plagued US system more efficiently.
A recent news article said a package sent to a remote Indian goat farm arrived 3 weeks earlier than a letter to Rome, and Pelosi indicated that with that kind of service in the US, the Post Office could charge "a heck of a lot more" because of the added delivery time, and maybe turn a profit.
A tour of the Ferrari, Fiat, and Maserati factories were also included for inspections. "Now that I will be in charge of designing cars for GM, Ford and Chrysler," Pelosi said, " I need to study why Italian production is so cost efficient, and so popular."
Ferrari and Maserati build about 500 cars a year by hand, and their profit margin is about 500%, while Fiat takes a different tact, stamping the economical Fiat out of Sardine Cans on an assembly line, returning 1500% profit according to Bernard Madoff, who has had a controlling interest, until lately.
Pelosi was said to be interested in the Fiat Business Plan due to her investment and involvement with the former Star Kist Tuna plant in America Somoa, where she recently facilitated a deal with a Korean fish company, that incidentally is involved with manufacturing compact cars for the third world, which now includes the US.
A travel consultant for Madam Pelosi said the group would be heading home in the next day or so as soon as the speaker was able to arrange a charter from a Libyan flagged freighter to convey all her purchased to her home port of San Francisco.
The consultant indicated that there would be a short interruption of the return trip as the party did a "fly by" of the former Yugo factory in Zastava, Yugoslavia to check on a report that enough spare parts were available to build 6500 government go carts to be used by Congressman to get around between the Senate and House Chambers. Pelosi said the cost was included in the Stimulus Package, under the heading "Shuttle Diplomacy" and would be administered by Rep. Charles Wrangle (sic), as soon as he was cleared on trumped up tax avoidance charges.
