Welldidja Siyatcoming, Idaho - What began as a not as friendly as it should have been treat between lovers quickly turned to a town reeking of Utter Indifference today. Chocolates filled with the fabled Love Potion #9, and marketed directly by the World WitchCraft Federation (WWCF) have been placed under total recall throughout Idaho, forty-two other states, and other locations around the globe.
Apparently at least one batch has been tainted with a dilution of Utter Indifference, possibly because the person running the vats that day was worried about peanut butter contamination, although this has yet to be confirmed at this hour.
If you, or someone you know, may have eaten these treats, we must caution you that your behavior may be somewhat altered over the next 48 to 72 hours. Beginning with a total lack of interest, the victim may sometimes progress to total apathy, or drink a few beers and pass out. At this early stage of development, no fatalities have occurred, although the tainted candies have been blamed for crashing relationships, and looks to be wreaking havoc on the love life of their victims.
WWCF urges anyone who may have purchased these candies to return them immediately, or suggests hanging on to them until April 1st, and giving the sumptuous treats out to co-workers or passing strangers on the street. Indeed, a WWCF representative whispered quietly, "Think about it. Some of them are filled with Love Potion #9, and others have Utter Indifference. It could make a fun prank." He then went on to ask if he could sleep on anyone's couch for a few days, as his wife had kicked him out.
