'We're not mass-murdering cowardly war criminals' shock Israeli claim

Funny story written by matwil

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for 'We're not mass-murdering cowardly war criminals' shock Israeli claim
The American dog that the Israeli tail wags in the name of mass-murder

The Israeli government today made a shock claim that they're not 'mass-murdering cowardly war criminals'.

Speaking from the ruins of the United Nations building in Gaza, General Cowardi Kidkilla said:'We are not war criminals. (Send another air strike with phosphorus bombs against those Palestinian children, Uri). We only strike Hamas. We (fire more mortar bombs at that hospital!) are fighting the world's toughest army, the military wing of Hamas, well the children's wing of Hamas.'

'And if anyone dares to mention the words 'massacre' or 'genocide', we'll tell them to speak to Barack Obama. He'll tell you (another hundred women dead in Gaza, woohoo!) how justified Israel's actions are, as he sends us his money.'

'Without America's support there would be no Israel, no massacres, no mass-murders in Gaza. No, hold on, cut that bit. Without America's support (there's a Palestinian family sheltering in that house! Fire!) we wouldn't be allowed to kill as many harmless Palestinians as we can in the name of freedom. Cut that too, don't want to make the morons that send their tax dollars to pay for our jets cry.'

Some have suggested that Israel is nothing short of a disgrace to the human race, a tiny nation that only exists to murder Arabs year after year, and to milk American money. Others have suggested that the Muslim world is right, and the USA is, after all, the Great Satan, playing at being the British Empire while paying Israelis to act like Nazis.

And other others have suggested that America is now the world's joke, and the emperor's new clothes have been seen for what they are now that the Cold War has ended, and that the Israeli tail is now clearly wagging the pathetic US dog.

Why didn't the British make any real effort to keep their American colonies? Uri?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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