Obama Blames "Fat Cat Wall Street Honkies" For Global Financial Crisis

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Monday, 1 December 2008

image for Obama Blames "Fat Cat Wall Street Honkies" For Global Financial Crisis
Blames Wall Street honkies

DOHA (FMLiveWire) - US President-elect Barack Obama has blamed "fat cat honkies on Wall Street" for the global financial crisis, saying other countries are being dragged in to help resolve Western problems.

"Those rich Wall Street crackers are pushing their own crisis on the rest of the globe," Obama told a UN aid conference in the Qatar's capital Doha here today.

"They pumped up a huge financial bubble to make themselves even richer and then they had everyone buy all those flakey worthless stocks and bonds and derivatives. All those CDOs and MBSs and LBO bonds are so much hogwash," Obama said.

"Then we dispatch different delegations to other countries and hold regional meetings and conferences in order to force other governments to get involved in this crisis fostered by Bush and his rich whitey friends to cover a part of the loss."

The credit crunch has frozen lending markets everywhere, forced trillions in dollars in government bailouts and sent nations into recession with 1930s-style depression and deflation threatening.

The crisis has taken a heavy toll on poorer countries and their inability to access credit markets.

"According to the World Bank, 40 million people will be dragged into poverty in 2009 as a result of the global financial crisis and related economic meltdown," complained Obama. "They are paying the price for the high-stepping ways of the honkies."

Obama said the capitalist era had come to an end and the world will adopt a new system based on "religious, spiritual and non-usury redistributive principles."

"The whitey capitalist bloc has imposed its standards unilaterally on the world via deceptive economic ploys that ripped everyone off," Obama continued. "Well I'm The Man now and I'm gonna straighten this mess out. Just gimme some time."

The Doha meeting seeks to reduce extreme poverty in many impoverished nations but has been overshadowed by the global financial crisis.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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